Yes, it is possible to set and maintain personal boundaries in a codependent relationship, but it takes practice. Here’s why: Our values and needs become blurred and enmeshed in codependency; we don’t know where we end and the other person begins.
In codependency, we focus on how someone else can meet our needs rather than focusing on how to take care of ourselves. It’s important to understand that being “self-focused” is not about being selfish. It’s about self-care. When we practice self-care, whether that is getting enough sleep, good nourishment, exercise, connection with others and spiritual growth, we are more resilient. We can think more rationally and respond to situations thoughtfully. We are less resentful. We are empowered to be more present in our relationships with others, because we are more present in the relationship with ourselves.
Especially with codependent relationships, it’s important to remember that when we set personal boundaries, we are only making rules for ourselves—which gives others the power to decide how they want to interact with us. Our loved ones are free to set their own boundaries, which provides opportunities to negotiate relationship parameters based on one another’s values and needs.